this couldn’t have been more accurate
I just asked for a PRN. I’m so done with my disorders. My hips are too narrow and my thighs too wide and my arms flabby and my stomach pregnant and love handles explode everywhere and my hands are huge and my face is fat and my legs bulge everywhere and my fat shows in lumps on my legs and my chin is awful and my face is ugly and I want to die in a hole. BDD is so powerful for me, in so many ways. It takes me back to my clinically obese days, which triggers panic and then impulsive behaviour then irregulated emotions and self harm and overdose and OCD gets worse and ED gets louder and my psychologist said today ‘its how you frame it. Is this a big slide backwards or is it a hiccup?’ if you think its a hiccup it will be. Well I thought that at first and now I can’t think straight and I can’t pack my lunch and I want to lie in bed forever.
When your anxieties follow you into your dreams and you can’t use sleep as an escape anymore